It Keeps Being My Birthday

And then I turned 25.

I did that on Sunday if you want to know.

I was sitting round a campfire at the time. Matt was controlling the iPod and refusing to play White Riot. I know, that's fucked. Earlier in the day we had been on the beach; the Pacific was mild for the Oregon Pacific and everyone was happy: I love it when my birthday is on a beach like it's supposed to be.

I started thinking about different ages I've turned.

24: That was a year ago. I had a party, and it was the worst party ever. Someone hit me over the head with a frying pan. Someone else tried to choke me. Then I had to get rid of the police.

23: That wasn't so bad. Everybody came out and bought me a drink. I met A. Crane for the first time that night, and I remember listening to Mr. Bungle in that insane loft/flat/thing he lived in. Then I tried to buy a shot for every person at the bar, so they cut me off and I went home.

22: A hard one. The just-been-dumped birthday. I think I wrote an essay about spiders.

21: First experiences of: 151; 3 Wisemen; the Irish Carbomb. Earlier in the night a girl had told me to Stop By Later. After they kicked me off the boardwalk for singing Clash City Rockers too loud I decided to go to her house; being a gentleman, I thought I should pick her flowers. My flowers were actually a fistfull of pineneedles, which I dropped at her roommate's feet when she answered the door. She said, "Steve, go home."

20: I worked all night at that restaurant I hate. I was cooking and Jay was washing dishes. Jay's a better cook than me but they were dicks to him. I told Danny the Manager that I was actually turning twenty-one, so (himself quite intoxicated) he made us glasses of rum for the occasion. I only felt a little bad.

19: I have no memory of turning 19. I would have been living in Ebensburg; I would have been working at Amici's. What was I actually doing? I could not possibly be telling.

18: This birthday I took my driver's license exam. My mom yelled at me all the way to the DMV for smelling bad: This was because I was not bathing at the time. I got my license and proceeded to never use it again.

I think that is as far back as my memory will even go. Did I turn any years before this? If so, somebody could let me know. But for now, it's the 5th night of my 25th birthday, so I must go off and celebrate!