Startling Revelations

A friend has recently informed me that there is a genre of Iranian film called Velvet Hat -- Meat Broth -- Cabaret. In her words it is about, "tough Robin Hood-like guys who wear velvet hats and drink meat broth and hang out in cabarets. They are sort of street-thugs, and their girlfriends are hookers, but they attempt to uphold traditional Iranian values in a society decaying due to Westernization."

This is amazing, and immediately inspired me to begin rapping:

Yo
I'm a velvet hat meat broth carabet thug
With a blog about gardens and a picture of a slug
And you know that I'm not still takin' drugs
And I quit eatin' meat; I don't even step on bugs.

But I uphold the values of Persian civilization
Against that pernicious influence: Westernization
And discourses based on global totalization:
Give me local knowledge and Islamification!

Break it down.

[Musical interlude.]

Yeah
That
Line was a link to Michel Foucault --
Comin' at you: PoMo hiphop, yo
These days are the age of Web 2.0
Democratize! New Media.

Breakitdown.

***

As always, points to anyone who can write more verses.