The First Travel Blog Ever!

Hi anybody!

Wow, it's been a few days. Lots of stuff has happened since January 13th. For example, now my blog has become a travel blog!

"Goodness Jesus, Steve, I just got this 'blog' concept down, and now you're telling me about travel blogs? How am I supposed to keep up!"

Well, my friend, a "travel blog" is a blog about a 22 to 28-year-old who goes to a different place and takes pictures with their digital camera of that place and posts them online! Much like an ordinary blog, it is important to have links, but unlike an ordinary blog, links take a backseat to pictures of the place you now live.

There was just one problem: I didn't have a digital camera! So I would have to rely upon my powers of description, and the fact that every image of every event that ever happened can now by discovered on Google image search, to share my adventures with my adoring readers.

***

Random Slices of Oregon

• First of all, let me tell you about my town. I am afraid to name it, because no one I work for should ever ever see this blog ever, so we shall call it "Okoge," after a Japanese word roughly translating as "fag hag." Okoge is a really pretty place. It looks kind of like Johnstown, only, like someone took a picture of Johnstown and airbrushed it.
  
• This is the internet's best picture of Johnstown, where they edited out almost all the ugly:
  Okoge is better than that. I wouldn't even have to edit it.
• Every other thing here is called Umpqua. The river through town is called Umpqua. The bank is called Umpqua. The region is the "hundred valleys of the Umpqua." The local Indians are named Umpqua. Umpqua is an Indian word meaning "thing."
• All of the deciduous trees are covered with this lovely light-green moss. I thought it was so cool until I found out it's actually some terrible disease that is killing them slowly and prettily.
• I am now driving a pickup truck!!! Here is a picture of me with it: As you can see, I have also taken this opportunity to become a shitbag redneck sonofabitch who writes songs about being a "patriot" and a "working man" while selling out to a company that helps keep America dependent upon foreign oil and, of course, actually being a wealthy superstar who will never have to work another day in my life.
• Jesus Fucking Fuck I hate Toby Keith.
• I mean remember that fucking "I'm a ford truck man. That's all I drive! Ain't got no boundaries, I don't compromise" shit. That pissed me off even more than his Courtesy of the Red White and Blue bullshit, like, yeah, okay, if I spend thousands of dollars on a gas-guzzling motherfucking automobile and drive around and burn oil and run over deer and cats and dress like a fucking retard, I will finally be free and independant. Fuck you, Toby Keith, and Fuck you, Ford.
• That said, I now drive a pickup truck.
• I am thinking of buying a rifle to put in the bed. Just because.
• All kidding aside, I support the Second Amendment, for good reasons.
  
• I don't remember what I am talking about or why.
• Okay, Oregon. Um, so, what else do you want to know? I have new friends now, and I went out with them to a bar the other night. The bar is this:

and it is pretty okay. It has excellent beer. I drank a Christmas ale that was maybe the best Christmas ale I have ever had, and regaled my new friends with my personal experiences with fireplay.

• I wasn't joking, and they were horrified.
• After this we went to a smaller bar that had Budweiser, shuffleboard, and old men with long hair and beards. I was bad at shuffleboard until I got drunker. Then I was good.
• Okay it's like 11:00 so I am going to go do something.
  
• By everybody!
• Please enjoy these pictures of scenic Oregon:

Update: BOO! Stupid website ruins my Oregon Trail joke. Fuck them!