Saturday in Roseburg

Hi anybody. It is Saturday in Roseburg, and I think I am making the decision not to buy a new cell phone charger today so that I might spend the day alone with my thoughts.

Here are some of my thoughts.

• Last night we went to the Indian casino. I was vaguely excited because I've never been to an Indian casino or for that matter any casino at all, gambling being the one vice that somehow completely passed me by.

• There might be more depressing places in America than an Indian casino in rural Southern Oregon. I have not seen them.

• Nor do I wish to.

• At one point Gabe said to me, "Which circle of Hell do you think this is?" I guessed the third, but I really didn't know.

• I recently bought a copy of the Divine Comedy. Actually I got it free from the good folks at St. Vincent de Paul, generosity being one of the major local natural resources (the other two are beer and coffee), along with a shit heap of other books I should read. I started on The Wealth of Nations, have I told you that yet?, but have not managed to get very far.

• Roseburg, Oregon is profoundly different from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It is hard to know what to do about this fact. I have no idea how to be a Country Boy.

• In my vision, I spend my time being wise in a forest, reading many books, writing thoughtful things and befriending forest animals.

• Instead, I go to the terribly trashy bars here and pretend that it is somewhere else, and it never is.

• This is neither helpful nor productive.

• Perhaps I should go into the woods today. Which woods? It doesn't matter, I can point myself in any direction and be there. It is cold, and wet out. Am I a coward? I could take the Shunryu Suzuki book I got last week and read and become wise.

• Or maybe I will never become wise.

• Songs that I listen to like an angst-some teenager this week: Talking Heads: This Must be the Place; Roy Orbison: Only the Lonely; Interpol: Obstacle 1; Joy Division: Love Will Tear Us Apart. Sighs and LOLs and byes.