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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

the point--

of writing a blog that other people who aren't even me can see when I'm in the midst of a total fucking emotional breakdown:

  • Last time I was sad I wrote a whiny blogpost on my MySpace of all places, quoting Pablo Neruda (c.f.) and "sighing into my coffee." Months later and the Steve of Joy once again I read it and said, "My, I was a whiner back then." It's about documenting progress.
  • (Although, Steve, perhaps we could be a little bit kinder to our sad-self? If one of our friends said, "My you're a whiner" that wouldn't be very nice of them.)
  • (Or would it?)
  • (At some point, don't you have to Shut Up and Deal?)
  • (Yes. But maybe the point is to get so fucking tired of yourself crybabying all to hell that you do that.)
  • So it's about records. Records, and tracing progress, and: Looking back and saying "A ha!" and "It does get better," so that when it comes round again you remember, A ha.
  • But that could have been accomplished through a simple journal, couldn't it have? What is the point it doing it in a public sphere?
  • "Public," in the above bullet-point, refers to the three friends who hopefully aren't reading this anyway.
  • (Don't worry, they'll be back once it turns funny again.)
  • I don't know what the point is. Maybe to participate in new media. Maybe because, by "publicly" stating "I am a gigantic sack of cry," one is forced to have a later entry saying, "Fear not, I am once again a gigantic sack of joy."
  • Imagine the embarrassment, after all, of a random newfriend or somesuch coming upon the I Cried for an Hour post a year from now, when we will surely not be crying.

Surely.

4 comments:

Jason Godesky said...

Don't feel embarrassed. An intervening continent may make it a tad difficult for me to offer any kind of actual support, but I wish I could. But don't feel embarrassed about that. Feel proud. We need our grief, and you let yourself feel yours thoroughly. That puts you a good bit ahead of the game, I say.

A Rat in the Walls said...

Jason!!!!!!!

It is a million good to hear from you.

(Is it considered a faux pas to comment on one's own blog?)

I believe I shall email you now.

Jason Godesky said...

If commenting on your own blog counts as a faux pas, then I've violated social norms so flagrantly, on so regular a basis, as to count as an online sociopath. Heck, I expect a blogger to comment on his own posts, dammit! :)

A Rat in the Walls said...

Ha! That is certainly true. Of course, your blog is serious and invites debate and discussion and even trolling, whereas this...