Resolutions, Revolutions

Or, "Things to Want in 2009."

Next year I'd like to be better than I am this year.

That's a rotten thing to say. "You think you're better than me, Steve 2010?"

"No, Steve 2009. But, I have done some things that you haven't, and that you'd like to do. It's all a process. Remember how you were in 2008?"

"That's a good point." In fact, it's the only point; the only place from which to start. What happened in 2008? What has Steve 09 added to the History of Steve?

In 2008, I:

Quit eating meat. And yes, I still go for seafood sometimes-- on a controlled and usually invertibrate level. (There are, however, 2 filets of tilapia in my freezer--tilapia, a species whose numbers, as I understand it, are not at a critical level.)

Traveled. This is a no-brainer, but it's big. I never used to travel. Now there are the obvious ones: I moved to Oregon, then spent that week in LA, then have randomly jaunted about the state. I know Portland and Eugene and the Coast pretty well; have seen Crater Lake and the Devil's Churn and other cool stuff. Then there were the two big trips: South, through S. Oregon and California; and North, through Washington. Another thing that makes these ones a big deal is that they required saving money and budgeting, and--

Learned to Drive. It's not that I want to be part of the car culture. But. Okay, driving a stick shift car is fun. And I couldn't do it before-- It's one thing to not partake because you CAN'T. It's another when it's a choice.

Learned about Grants. I cannot stand grantwriting. But the fact of being able to write a grant application is probably a useful thing.

Learned about Office Work. It's not a bad thing to learn about what you hate and are bad at.

Read a lot more science fiction and communist history. And also Paradise Lost, that was cool.

***

...So there you have it. Steve 2009's major upgrades. Join us next time, when we'll be discussing major changes in store for 2010!

A Whole New _______

January 28th, not the 1st, but this year didn't begin on the first, did it?

No, it began with the move to Oregon, and the beginning of my job here with this unnamed National Service Organization, and that's how it ends, in two days time, except they're having a farewell dinner for me tonight, though I doubt they all want me to fare all that well--

And so the next Year starts now.

***

Interjection: An irate reader messaged me today. "I demand you start posting again regularly, Steve!" And I: "Certainly," though I forgot to actually send it until he'd gone away.

***

But what to post about? And this new Year, and this new -- life? -- and so, I don't know how much to write about the external world, or if I care.

(That is: I care. But the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the new Bolivian constitution are faraway and have little to do with whether or not I eat next month, and that has to take priority for now)--

And all this is to say, this is going to be a space filled with personal reflection for a while. I haven't walked my own mind in much too long a time. And that takes the whole thing maybe to a different sort of level, and not particularly interesting to the ones who live outside my head. But then, it's my blog, and that's what I want to do.

So next up: New Years Resolutions.

Random Weirdness

New Scientist:

The holograms you find on credit cards and banknotes are etched on two-dimensional plastic films. When light bounces off them, it recreates the appearance of a 3D image. In the 1990s physicists Leonard Susskind and Nobel prizewinner Gerard 't Hooft suggested that the same principle might apply to the universe as a whole. Our everyday experience might itself be a holographic projection of physical processes that take place on a distant, 2D surface.

The Man in the Yellow Hat

Somebody help me.

Struck by sudden inspiration, I spent twelve hours on Wednesday writing a story featuring a villain called "the man in the yellow hat." I was immensely proud of it. Last night I was riding home from work with Girlfriend, and said something like,

"Yes, I just finished it. So I'll tell you about it. And now I can pay attention to you again, now that my mind isn't entirely occupied"--here I filled my voice with a tone of cosmic terror far surpassing its customary level of menace-- "by the man in the yellow hat!"

I looked at her expectantly.

"Um, Curious George?" said she.

"FUCK," said I.

***

The man in the yellow hat was just an image I thought was unassuming but memorable. So ... now I don't know what to do. Recolor his hat? But what color? The man in the orange hat? No, orange is too loud a color. The man in the silver hat? Well, maybe, he is (after all) a robot.

So...

Purple? Black? White? Blue? Red? Grey? I don't know! Help!

Hierocles and Philagrius

This is the best thing ever.

...And, looking into it, I spent the morning laughing at the wacky antics of that world-renowned comedy duo, Hierocles and Philagrius.

A few samples:

Someone needled a well-known wit: "I had your wife, without paying a penny." He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?"

And did you hear about the Cumaean who was selling honey at the marketplace?

When a certain person, upon testing the honey, said that it was not good, the Cumaean replied that, "If a mouse had not fallen into it, I wouldn't be selling it!"

OH those crazy Cumaeans. Then there's the no-good Sidonians.

A certain person once said to a Sidonian fisherman, "Your fishing pot is filled with crabs." And so the Sidonian replied, "There is a cancer in your breast."

Hahahahaha, hahaha, haha, ha.

Harry Reid is a Lying Sack of Shit

And so are most of the rest of the United States Congress.

Al Jazeera:

The US House of Representatives has voted to endorse a resolution backing Israel in its offensive in Gaza, in which at least 780 Palestinians have been killed...Harry Reid, who leads the Democratic majority in the senate, said on Thursday following that vote: "Our resolution reflects the will of the state of Israel and the will of the American people" (emphasis added).

Rasmussen:

Sixty-two percent (62%) of Republicans back Israel’s decision to take military action against the Palestinians, but only half as many Democrats (31%) agree. A majority of Democrats (55%) say Israel should have tried to find a diplomatic solution first, a view shared by just 27% of Republicans.

...Well, half of what Reid said is true. The half about the "will of the state of Israel. Kind of telling that he conflates that with the "will of the American people," isn't it?

Haaretz:

Noting that Israel was bent on halting Hamas rocket fire into its southern towns, Reid said: "I ask any of my colleagues to imagine that happening here in the United States. Rockets and mortars coming from Toronto in Canada, into Buffalo New York. How would we as a country react?"

Roughly 16,000 Americans are murdered every year. Meanwhile, the US population (~300 million) is about 35 times that of Israel (~8 million). So, the 20 Israelies killed since 2001 by Palestinian rockets would be like 700 Americans killed in 8 years by Canadians (or, maybe a slightly more accurate parallel, Mexicans)--85 per year. That's 700 in a period during which roughly 160,000 Americans were murdered.

It's difficult to track down statistics on who murders who in America. According to the far right--and, since that's the element of the "American people" whose "will" is most in alignment with Reid's, it seems reasonable enough to use their data--illegal immigrants are already responsible for at least 1,000 American deaths per year. That's--oh, 80 times what the Palestinians have managed, adjusted for population size.

Slightly calmer Eric Rasmusen gives a lower estimate, claiming illegal immigrants commit 6.1% of all crime in America. If that rate holds true across the board, then illegal immigrants commit more than 500 murders a year, and Mexican nationals, being 57% of the illegal immigrant population, currently murder at least 300 Americans a year.

I assume Reid's next act will be to a resolution calling for the immediate invasion of Mexico.

Meanwhile,

Israel bombed Gaza 'safe' house full off evacuees, says UN;

Red Cross Finds Starving Children with 12 Corpses in Gaza 'House of Horrors';

etc, etc...etc.

Thrilling Conclusion

1:25



Thank you, Jay.

Saga Continues

10:48

I cannot think of any reason for a squid to be smoking a cigarette.

I drew a picture of one in my notebook. It didn't turn out well.

Randomly

8:57 Friday Morning

My last post was gloomy, so I wanted to write something upbeat.

But it was 8:57. I was tired, hadn't had coffee, couldn't think of anything. The only idea that came to mind was a picture of a SQUID smoking a CIGARETTE.

Then I got it:

A SQUID SMOKING A CIGARETTE WOULD BE AWESOME!!

Does anyone have such a picture? I can't find one anywhere on the internet.

Okay I'm going to make coffee.

Thoughts in Grey

I think I am unbecoming brightly.

I remember a dream: I am on an island with oily black rat creatures with long noses and a village of deep-sea divers. The ocean is deep beyond the island, and, diving deep, we come up with tiny orbs of bright myriad colors. Channeling my will through the colors, the rat creatures become flower-headed creatures of a thousand shapes.

Interpret. The rats are words, black and slippery-without-context. The colors from deep in the sea are the passions of deep-in-the-mind; retrieve them, and the words are imbued with color, and take a thousand mad-beautiful shapes.

Fading to grey. I am losing even the black to write these feeble sentences, the orange to cry out in dread.

Where have the colors gone?

Better Gardens

It was April the 28th when I wrote, "Yesterday I planted a garden but it will not grow."

What I had really done was to plant carrot, onion, broccoli seeds randomly in the lawn and in the flower bed.

The flower bed: I don't know what the real term for the thing is, there is a sloping concrete barrier and dirt runs along the top, planted with small shrubs. Yesterday I noticed that the rain had washed some of the dirt away, revealing three huge fat carrots.